edward: most likely a first sibling. definitely had a goth phase you never grew out of. you have an overall disdain for authority and strongly believe in trusting others to make their own decisions about what’s best for them rather than telling them what to do. your loved ones mean everything to you, and you prefer to show that through your actions rather than words, even if they don’t always pick up on it. next time, maybe sacrifice your life a little harder so they’ll get the message.
alphonse: strangers think you’re quiet, but your close friends and family knows better than that. you’re a delight to be around, have a great sense of humor, and would do anything to protect those you care for. it takes you a bit to open up to others, but you have a knack for being able to connect with people from all different walks of life and circumstances,
evenespecially kinnies and furries.winry: you’re inquisitive, curious, compassionate, and get very intensely attached to your interests. you’re sweet on the surface, but you know how to fuck someone up if they ever double-cross you. you try to be as organized and diligent as possible, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you. you likely color-code the 5 different schedules you regularly use to help stay on top of things, and at least 4 of those colors are different shades of white-out from all the mistakes you keep making.
roy: you definitely think you’re way cooler than you actually are. you were the kid every teacher loved but all the other students hated, and you were absolutely assigned hall monitor at some point. you have both a god complex and a martyr complex at the same time, which is why no one likes you.
riza: you spend so much time complaining about how no one could possibly understand you that you can’t even see what’s right in front of you—people who can and do understand you. oh wait, they’re gone. you pushed them away again. you have no friends.
scar: people often come to you for advice in times of hardship. you’ve lived through a lot, but you’re devoted to making the world a better place because of your own pain. you find the simpler things in life to be the most beautiful, like the sun shining from behind heavy rainclouds, or the leaves changing colors in autumn, or john mccain dying from a brain tumor.
ling: you’re always up to date on the latest gossip/drama/memes/pop culture. if anyone wants to know what’s going on with something, they ask you. you have an effortless cool about you that easily hides the fact that you’re actually a giant dork. also you’ve probably punched someone over beating you in mariokart before. they totally deserved it though.
lan fan: you pretend to be tough on the surface, but on the inside you’re a mitski stan. shhh, it’s okay. no one else has to know your secret. you’re still plenty tough, and in all the places it counts.
mei: you contemplate dying your hair pink everyday, and each time you manage to convince yourself to go through with it, you come up with another reason not to. your friends have told you to just do it on 6 separate occasions. the only thing you’re certain of in life is that ariana grande is god.
fu: you were the kid who had a toy lightsaber in every color and at least 3 of them lit up and made noises. you challenged your friends to in-the-dark duels (or “night fights”) with them, and you always kicked ass. coincidentally, you also kicked your own leg into the edge of a table and ended up needing stitches. now you just train young jedi for your “night fights” instead.
paninya: you watched naruto as a kid and it turned you into the anime-loving fuck you are today. you blame all your problems in life on the writers not allowing sasuke and naruto to end up together, and you know what? you’re right.
izumi: you hate the government and would gladly punch god in the face. you’re the ultimate mom friend and have a way of commanding the respect you deserve without asking for it. sometimes that way means making threats of bodily harm, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!
hohenheim: you’re actually a cryptid, no one can be certain you really exist. the only evidence we found was a blurry instagram selfie from 2013 and a book about greek mythology with coffee stains on the cover. oh, sorry, the book isn’t yours. i just meant the coffee stains resemble that selfie.
alex armstrong: you have a knack for the finer things in life, like knocking a guy’s lights out after he refused to drink his respect women juice. you definitely cried over the ATLA beach episode, and you aspire to be a concert pianist more than anything else (which of course means getting to lift the piano over your head for a living).
olivier armstrong: you’re a lesbian. i have nothing else to say. if she’s your favorite, you’re a lesbian. congrats on the lesbianism.
captain buccaneer: you go to the gym on the regular just so you can feel superior to everyone else there. you’ve likely referred to other people as “mere mortals” before and definitely meant it. the only reason no one’s punched you in the face yet is because they haven’t noticed you exist.
major miles: you dream of one day finding a friend group that you can call your found family. preferably one that comes with a van, talking dog, and an endless supply of money so you can travel to a new country every week. oh yeah, and the weed.
havoc: you huff gasoline in a czechoslovakian ice field, and you’ve unironically said “haha and then what ;)” in a text message before. it was a text to your boss about your work shift schedule.
falman: you think you’re oppressed for being an introvert. you take long walks at night because you think it makes you a deep and poetic soul. it actually just makes you creepy as fuck. stop doing that. the neighbors are starting to complain.
breda: you probably had a lego kit from every major franchise and you mixed up the pieces as best as possible. who cares what others think though, captain america looks great in a hobbit hole with tardis doors.
fuery: you have a griffin mcelroy icon don’t you.
hughes: you had a bad family life growing up, and want nothing more to be a good parent to your future children because of it. you’re terrified of change, which is why you’ve changed your profile picture on facebook exactly one time since 2012.
kimblee: you fantasize about blowing things up becau—you know what i can’t do this, why the FUCK is he your favorite? please for the love of god i am begging you to dust the spicy cheeto powder off your fingers and wash your 2 month old laundry and leave your mom’s basement so you can outside and get a fucking life
wrath: you actually liked return of the jedi and you think kylo ren deserves a redemption arc.
pride: read roy’s. you’re that except you’re proud of the hall monitor part. you’re also probably some type of furry. i don’t want to think about which one.
greed: you were a homestuck at some point and never really moved beyond it. you love fictional monsters and often “joke” about relating to them more than you do to humans. the truth is, you’re lonely inside. you just want friends. too bad no one wants to be friends with a homestuck.
lust: you stanned azula as a kid and projected all your problems onto her. now you dream of getting to fuck demons and vampires, and you’re working on a novel with a self-insert that will allow you to do just that. who’s laughing now, zuko?
envy: you have mesothelioma
Why the FUCK is Izumi not here?
what your favorite fullmetal alchemist character says about you
Published
i'll apple your turnover 