Tag: yesss

bumblebeebats:

Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad

But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

so I’m thinking about supervillains (because when am I not) and that really is, like, the ultimate gig if you hate traditional work but live for the drama.

I’m not talking about your Lex Luthors or your Red Skulls or your Doctor Dooms here. not even your street level crime bosses like Kingpin or Penguin. they all have Goals and stuff and are usually down with actually hurting a lot of people to achieve them. I’m talking, like, much lower level villainy here.

I’m thinking of the peeps who just want to make some quick cash smashing up a bank or a jewelry store or some other cliched crime location. all you have to do is pick a gimmick, cobble together a costume, then show up and show off some flashy powers/tech enough to impress people. you don’t even need to hurt anybody, just spook them enough to get them out of your way while you take the cash. it’s essentially high stakes LARPing. 

UNLESS, of course, you’re some unlucky fool who lives in a city with an Actual Superhero around, in which case the game suddenly becomes incredibly high risk/high reward. 

the bad news is that the odds of your schemes being foiled dramatically increases, although that honestly won’t even be a problem if your local prison has sufficiently Arkham-esque security.

the good news is that you get an archenemy to flirt with!

small local supervillain resorts to desperately staging a romance with the local hero in order to boost their popularity on social media.

why do they need to boost their popularity? so glad you asked. I ABSOLUTELY think a villain with enough charisma/novelty appeal could get away with crowd funding. Kite Man has a patreon and people literally give him money to buy bigger and more elaborate kites just because he’s such a nice change from all the psychotic clowns and fear gas-spouting scarecrows and killer plants that the people of Gotham are used to. hell, most of his patrons are Gotham residents. (he thanks them by posting pictures of each elaborate new kite rig, with the caption HELL YEAH! it’s the only way he communicates and people eat it up.)

and you know what gets people interested/wanting to see more of you? tons of speculative tweets and fan art of you and your friendly local hero, who’s increasingly baffled by all of this. 

but Makenzie, you’re asking, why would this hypothetical supervillain even need to crowdsource more money if she’s already out committing bank robberies and shit? SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

according to our friend google, the average bank robbery only nets are 4300 dollars. which sounds rad, but is barely going to be a dent if you’re, say, in student debt. add in your rent, car payment, any teammates and/or henchmen you have to split the profits with, the price of updating your costumes or tech, and general living costs, and I can very much believe a lot of lower tier villains are still strapped for cash. 

so they’ve got to get these side hustles, crowdfunding, selling their own merch and stealing shit off of heroes during fights just to auction off to fans. 

I just. really like broke villains who aren’t even particularly evil, just trying to make a buck.

anyway back to that fake romance shit cause I know y’all eat that up.

obviously heroes aren’t supposed to accept money, it’s all about the Goodness of Their Hearts, etc, but my duuuuude. there are plucky young college-aged heroes out there too and they are s t r u g g l i n g. and if people will donate to a villain’s campaign, they will ABSOLUTELY shell out for someone who once stopped a bus full of orphans from exploding.

what I’m saying is. completely and mutually staged hero/villain romance. there is not “gotcha!” moment when they fall in love for real. maybe one or both of them have partners. possibly they’re incompatible based on sexual orientation/gender. maybe they’re just genuinely not into each other. but goddamn if they’re not going to shamelessly keep their weird shipper fandom alive. 

embriumtea:

full offense but that moment when a character is absolutely steeled for anger from their partner and gets tenderness and compassion instead and they just completely lose it because they don’t feel like they deserve it after how they’ve behaved and have no idea how to handle it is so, so, so good and if i ever stop loving it just assume i’ve died and been replaced with a really bad forgery. 

gallusrostromegalus:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

you know what, how about a masterpost of my completed DC fics because whynot

Unpretty is a blessing upon this earth, also an excellent writer.

elodieunderglass:

brittajj26:

mrrrl:

delladilly:

do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying

#like when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #i don’t know how to express this i just. people are people and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes

I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds.

I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.

I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a baby looking over its mother’s shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that astonished stare.

– when someone is standing in line and they don’t quite dance to the music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words

– when someone thinks no one’s paying attention and they sing-talk themselves thru a task

– when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone

– when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they’re doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they reboot. 

– when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind them what they’re doing.

– when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love them. 

– the hand gesture people make when they’re thinking at their computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You’d think it would come up all the time in fic.

– when you’re sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can’t make eye contact again, but you are very aware of them. 

– just evidence of other people’s rich, baffling and complex inner lives.