I think for a lot of white people, when you call them out on their casual racism (microagressions and non-overt things), they see it as a case of hurt feelings from your point of view as opposed to a discussion of harmful practices that aid the vehicle of racism. So in response, they take it as a personal attack, rather than a learning experience, and go on the defensive by bringing up a time that you made them upset as leverage. Or they defend their actions by doubling down on the behavior at hand and dismissing your criticism as over sensitivity and emphasizing their “harmless” intent. And I think that is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to address casual and interpersonal racism with the general white population (and also other poc tbh).
I think white people NEED to read this and let it sink way deep down inside them.
One of the white participants left the session and went back to her desk, upset at receiving (what appeared to the training team as) sensitive and diplomatic feedback on how some of her statements had impacted several of the people of color in the room. […] [Later] her friends wanted to alert us to the fact that she was in poor health and “might be having a heart attack.” Upon questioning from us, they clarified that they meant this literally. These co-workers were sincere in their fear that the young woman might actually die as a result of the feedback.
All of this is going to feel very familiar to anyone who’s blogged about racism in fandom.
“White fragility functions as a form of bullying: ‘I am going to make it so miserable for you to confront me — no matter how diplomatically you try to do so — that you will simply back off, give up, and never raise the issue again.’ White fragility keeps people of color in line and “in their place.” In this way, it is a powerful form of white racial control. Social power is not fixed; it is constantly challenged and needs to be maintained.”
In a new book, “White Fragility,”
DiAngelo attempts to explicate the phenomenon of white people’s
paper-thin skin. She argues that our largely segregated society is set
up to insulate whites from racial discomfort, so that they fall to
pieces at the first application of stress—such as, for instance, when
someone suggests that “flesh-toned” may not be an appropriate name for a
beige crayon. Unused to unpleasantness (more than unused to it—racial
hierarchies tell white people that they are entitled to peace and
deference), they lack the “racial stamina” to engage in difficult
conversations. This leads them to respond to “racial triggers”—the show
“Dear White People,” the term “wypipo”—with “emotions such as anger,
fear and guilt,” DiAngelo writes, “and behaviors such as argumentation,
silence, and withdrawal from the stress-inducing situation.”
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