The Vox article that I was interviewed for is up and running, and it contains some serious fuckign information about this whole fiasco.
Information that tumblr just straight up refused to provide to its userbase at all.
Unsurprisingly to those of us watching this website deteriorate over the last year, this full content purge and ban has been in progress for a solid 6 months. The date got moved up because of the child porn thing, but it was always coming for us.
Equally unsurprising: Tumblr’s management and ownership are absolutely destroying the actual staff working on it. The company has been hemoragghing senior staff without so much as a token attempt to keep them in place. So the drops in site quality are real, and wil probably only be getting worse.
Truly astonishing is the fact that apparently this crap was supposed to “double” the userbase by the end of next year. Boy, howdy, that’s not gonna work out well for them.
I love how their post says “A better, more positive Tumblr” as if female nipples are what’s ruining the experience on this website and not bullies, racists, homophobes and actual nazis
and as if objectifying and sexualizing feminine anatomy as pornographic in-itself, independent of context, ain’t the exact same sexist shit that they claim to be trying to put an end to.
As of today, November 17, 2018, any post with links, any links, even to other tumblr posts, just don’t show up anymore in tumblr’s search engine.
I just found out about it, after I posted a fic with a link to my masterlist and it got little to no notes (it shuldn’t). I was right – the moment I deleted the links, my post magically appeared in the search again. Wow.
Please spread the word to warn the others.
This affects artists who want to cross promote their work, writers who want to link to previous chapters or to a masterlist, and editors who want to link to their YouTube channels, among just a few. This new policy will kill content creators’ ability to spread their work, and for what? A poor attempt to use the algorithm to crack down on porn bots and scammers? Sad.
In the meantime, here’s what I suggest: post your work with no added links, and tell people to check the notes for your masterlist, story navigation, links to ko-fi, patreon, and other social media sites. Make sure you have all those things ready, then paste it into a reblog and have people access them that way. It’s stupid, but it’s a work around we’ll have to use until tumblr gets their act together.
Reblogging this here because I put links in pretty much all my posts so I’m going to basically disappear from Tumblr searches, more so than I already have (as a NSFW blog I’m already mostly invisible). I’ve been using a redirect for my patreon link that doesn’t even work on mobile, as many of you have contacted me about, but since it doesn’t matter anymore I’m just going to go back to using the direct link. All of my comics have links to other pages so this will also be unsearchable through the main tumblr platform.
Reblogging is pretty much the only way new folks are going to be able to find works with links in them anymore so consider reblogging works you like more frequently so that people will see them. At least until this terrible website dies lol.
Do you really want to know my answer? Like seriously, are you actually open to listening to what my answer may be and absorbing any new information I may offer on the topic?
Because from here it doesn’t seem like you are.
Let’s be honest with each other, you started out with the phrase “why do you think it’s ok” which is aggressive language, and then you justified your disagreement with your identity. Which I always found to be an interesting tactic, because when this clarification exists in an argument it assumes that by having this particular set of identities you are somehow more qualified to discuss this problem than someone else, while at the same time personalizing you so it is harder for anyone to disagree with you.
You then use the words hurtful, and then offensive. Both button words that illicit a certain type of response, hurtful in how inarguable it is. That is your feeling and I would never argue what a stranger is feeling to them. Then there is offensive, which is a word that is very well used in the LGBT+ community to discuss important issues surrounding our dehumanization.
I don’t think that this message was a carefully crafted masterpiece of debate and trickery that you spent hour figuring out the direct phrasing of obviously, but I do think you had an intent when you wrote this message and the words you chose make that intent clear.
You don’t want to talk to me. Hell I doubt you even follow me. I have anonymous turned off on my ask box, but I am almost 100% sure that if I didn’t you would be sending this under the little sunglasses wearing icon.
Also if you checked my FAQ you would have found a helpful little link explaining to you my views on the queer discourse. You may have noticed that I have my own reasons why I decide to use that word, and my own history with it. You probably also would have seen my post saying that I don’t mind people disagreeing with me. Or you could have seen that I have a link set up that blocks the word from all my content so no one has to see it if they don’t want to, and they can still have access to the history that I give insight into.
But you didn’t care about that did you? Because you aren’t actually interested in what I have to say, if you were you would have already seen all of this and you would have seen my request for people to stop asking me to drag out my arguments for why I use the word again and again. You probably would have realized that either A) it is a lost cause so why bother B) that I have nothing left to say on the matter that I haven’t already said and you may have respected my professional boundaries enough to leave it alone.
But here we are, you uninformed and angry, and me annoyed and tired. We aren’t going to have a good dialogue, and I am near certain you wouldn’t have accepted one if I offered it. You are not here to change my mind, because I have to assume that you at least did a basic check to see that my entire project has the word queer in it and it is pretty clear that isn’t changing. And you are also not here to have your mind changed.
And to be honest I have no desire to change your mind. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me on this. It actually isn’t that big of a deal to me if someone doesn’t agree with my viewpoints all the time.
I have read a lot of arguments in favour of removing the word from our lexicon completely. I disagree, but I understand them. As I have said before, this isn’t a huge dividing point for me.
I have given people access to my work without the word queer in it, and that is the extent of what I am going to do here.
So why are you sending this in? Nothing is going to change from it, and honestly it is a pretty boring message so I can’t believe you thought something would.
I think the sole reason you sent this was performative.
You wanted to show that you tried to convince that big mean queer person without actually trying to convince them. Maybe this was a performance; for your followers, maybe you will screenshot my response and share them in a group chat. Or it is also possible this is a performance for yourself, maybe you want to convince yourself that you are doing something.
Maybe you feel ineffective or like you need to make a difference so you are sending this message to me to feel proud of yourself for trying to change something that you don’t like.
But you aren’t doing this to actually do the hard work of changing something.
And it is fine if you aren’t able to do that work for any reason, but leave other people out of your sense of inadequacy. I am not here to be your punching bag that you hit so you can feel big and strong.
I am tired, and I am bored of people sending me this performative garbage.
Which of course lends itself to the question, why am I answering this publicly?
I will admit there is a little bit of performance from my side as well, I want people to see how right I am and how much this behavior sucks. I want people to see me destroying this ask, and I am not going to lie I am totally going to send screenshots to the group chat.
What makes us different, is that I didn’t seek this performance out. I clearly did not send this to myself, and I haven’t made a post about the queer discourse in months. Which means, this person had to search for me so that they could get mad at me. Whereas I just had to check my inbox this morning and respond to what was there.
But outside of the performance of it all, I want my answer to sit with you for a couple of days. I don’t care if I change your mind about the queer discourse because honestly I do not care about the queer discourse. But I do want to change something. I want you to stop sending asks like these, because this doesn’t seem like it is your first.
And if you were just sending them to me I would be fine with it. I can delete asks, and they roll off my back if I decide to let them. But not everyone is like that.
I could now give a rant about the little baby queers I am protecting, but it is not just about them. It is about all of the people you send this kind of thing to (who almost certainly don’t deserve hate mail), whether they are affected deeply by it or not it doesn’t make what you are doing any better.
And if me writing this long message publicly makes it less likely for you to send something like this again, then it is worth the five minutes I have spent crafting it. Because if you are a little more self conscious about doing something like this again, then hopefully I will have spared a couple of people the annoyance of having to deal with this kind of garbage message.
This is also a very educational response because it takes apart the question in a very useful way. A good exercise for those of you who are interested in rhetoric and logic in discourse.
It’s also a good insight into the motivations and psychology of people when they send this type of messages. It’s couched as a personal attack on you (and it is!) but behind that is a person who is working through stuff badly, and trying to assign the blame for that to a different person (you). By studying that, you can understand more about the Discourse and the motivations behind it. It can also help to heal you (and others) from attacks of this type. When I read the initial ask, it made my body flinch: I felt that I myself was being publicly attacked by a strange and hurtful person, and that I had to defend myself, flooded with instinctive responses. Seeing the blogger’s thoughtful response calmed me.
Oh, gosh. As someone who has been on BOTH sides of this experience, this speaks to me right where I live.
If you’re at all like me, this stuff is difficult from several angles:
Firstly, I like people to be happy and not unhappy. If I can do things to make people happy, I tend to want to do them. Other people’s (un)happiness often feels like it weighs more strongly than my own (un)happiness.
Secondly, I am extremely rejection-sensitive myself, so this ups my perception of the harm to the other person. It also makes the whole topic feel extremely charged, b/c if *I* secretly don’t like this person for no reason they can control then maybe other people secretly don’t like me for reasons I can’t control. Maybe all my friends secretly hate me! (They don’t. I’ve checked.)
Thirdly, if I’m honest, I would like to be able to reject someone in a way that somehow causes zero change in their opinion of me, see previous All People Must Like Me At All Times Or I’ve Failed As A Human Being. (Also not true. I’ve checked on that one, too.)
Soooo yeah. This is one of those easier-as-a-bystander things, but here’s some things that have helped me.
-Untangle what you do control from what you don’t
You are in charge of your feelings and your actions. You CAN’T control (or even 100% predict) how the other person will react to them, so stop assigning yourself the task of being feelings!forecaster and emotions!wrangler.
Sometimes things in life (like you not manifesting the correct feelings) will make people feel bad in ways you can’t actually prevent or control. Give yourself permission to not try. Break ups hurt, and the idea that there is a Magical Correct Perfect way that will cause no hard feelings is, sadly, not a real thing. Pull off the band-aid fast or slow or however the heck you prefer. It’s gonna come off.
-Try not to project
Worth emphasizing: If they haven’t said it out loud, you don’t actually know what they’re thinking or feeling. Mind reading is a cognitive distortion, so try to spot when you’re falling into it. Ditto for fortune-telling (you don’t know how they’re going to react) or catastrophizing.
-Practice enthusiastic consent in relationships
Seriously. Do this *today.* Every time you find yourself in a position where you need decide to skype/message/reply/hang out with/otherwise spend emotional energy on this person" check in on your consent. Do you enthusiastically want to?
If not: don’t.
It is amazing how often this idea feels revolutionary. But you don’t owe strangers (or your friends) make-outs or sex just because it would make them happy, and similarly you don’t owe them a deep, emotional feelings jam. Or even a relationship. Neutrality towards someone is not harm.
Guilt is a toxic as fuck relationship dynamic, Do Not Do.
-Sometimes people don’t click
It’s not a referendum on someone’s character if you just don’t feel it the same way. You don’t need to be someone’s friend because they are nice. You don’t need to be someone’s friend just because you don’t have a compelling reason not to be. You don’t actually need a reason to not want to be someone’s friend. There are several billion perfectly nice people in the world you will not have time to be in either a platonic or romantic relationship with.
Also, having incompatible relationship needs doesn’t necessarily mean EITHER of you need to change as a person. It just means you have incompatible needs.
If you feel bad for not being able to be the Nice Thing in this person’s life, go leave a comment on someone’s fanwork. There, you’ve brightened someone’s day.
-It’s not rude to not answer someone on the internet
This one’s hard for me! But seriously. Especially the less well you know someone, the less you owe them dropping everything to craft a response of any flavor on demand. Try not to frame it as “ignoring someone speaking to your face” and look at it more as “ignoring someone shouting vaguely in your direction across a crowded room.” I’m bad at small talk, so my rule of thumb is if I don’t have anything in particular to add to a conversation, I just…. don’t. “I liked ur post” does not mandate any particular response.
-Therapists get paid
Therapy is hard, emotionally-draining work aand that is why therapists get paid to do it, and why they only do it in a very specific, limited context. When you engage in therapy as a friend, it should be as part of mutually beneficial relationship. Does this mean that 2 friends always get the same benefits out of a relationship or that 2 friends will always have the same amount of spoons to spend on a relationship at any given time? No. But over the span of years it should probably feel like it evens out.
In my personal experience, starting as someone’s free therapist doesn’t usually work out well in terms of friendship. It feels nice to be helpful, but it’s a weird power imbalance, and best case scenario you’re both eventually going to have to work out new ways to relate to each other. Worst case scenario, one or both people’s spoons drastically change and suddenly you CAN’T continue the current dynamic and nobody’s got a safety net interaction-style to fall back on.
-You can understand and empathize with a reaction without having to prioritize it
You mentioned a “terrible person reflex”. And god, I feel that. But this is one of those areas where both of you have GOT to be aware of who is in charge of handling that reflex. (Hint: it is not you). It’s very similar to struggles with jealousy or any other cognitive distortion– they are real, painful emotions, but as distortions they are not based in reality. People outside your own brain can find some ways to provide reassurance, but they cannot manage them for you. Is there a way you can work out a ritualized shorthand for the long set of reassurances or nimble tap-dancing that it sounds like ensues from this reflex triggering? (Something like: “are we still friends?” “yep!”)
In particular, if you find that expressing a need/feeling leads to you setting that conversation aside for prolonged discussion of the other person’s needs or feelings THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY OR SUSTAINABLE PATTERN.
-Listen to your brain when it wants you to stop doing something that hurts
When you’re experiencing emotional overload, distress, or damage, a healthy brain is gonna take steps to protect you. That resentment? That is your brain giving you armor. That is emotional coping.
If you’re like me, and not always very tuned in to your own needs (I *can* so obviously I *should*). Sometimes your brain will just scale up the shouting (”Seriously, Stop Doing the Thing”) until you have to acknowledge it. One example is the “bitch eating crackers” phenomenon, where your brain escalates resentment of a person to the point where even the way they eat crackers starts to bother you. “Look at that bitch sitting there eating crackers.” This is not a good place to be in in a relationship. Repression is not a sustainable interaction style in a relationship.
-People that love you want you to be happy
If you are unhappy, that is important. If your happiness requires you taking a step back, *even in a way that hurts the other person*, most of your friends will want you to take that step. Plus side: this means that sharing a relationship problem will trigger good friends’ protective problem-solving rather than defensiveness. Or at the very least you know what they would want for you if they were in a better place.
The corollary to this is, of course, people that don’t value your happiness are not worth pouring your emotional energy into.
-If you’re waiting for the Thing That Will Give You Permission to Leave, “I want to” is sufficient reason
I have to include this because it is so damn important. Seriously. If you want out of a relationship, this is your sign. Go.
-Be aware that “do this or I’ll hurt myself” is also abuse
Also so damn important. Threats of physical violence to coerce behavior are Not Good. Run run run.
-You aren’t required to invest work in fixing a relationship, but if you DO want to put it in, here are some quick thoughts:
Switch to only engaging in ways, frequencies, and topics that you find rewarding. (ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT. DESIST FROM EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION.)
State your needs without feeling the required to offer detailed explanation or justification. (“I’m really stressed lately, so I need to only talk about casual things”)
Resist the urge to get drawn into guilt spirals. (”I’m not mad” + restate need).
Resist engaging with stuff that violates boundaries you’ve communicated–just ignore and switch the topic. Redirect any too-heavy stuff to other channels. (“Sounds like you need a therapist to talk to”; “Ugh, that sounds stressful, hope you find someone that can help you through that”; “Sounds like something you two will need to work out together”; + TOPIC CHANGE).
Shift some of the relationship work to the other person, such as strategizing ways to balance conflicting needs.
Frankly what I’m hearing from you is “I want to stop” so…. yeah, you can stop. Official Stranger On the Internet permission given.
as someone who legitimately spent obscene amounts of my time and energy fighting off TERFs in this website and dunking on them and finding new and creative ways to make them look like shit I’m gonna tell you the truth that it’s fucking uiseless: it doesn’t matter how thoroughly you humiliate these people, how much you make them come off as complete fucking losers (which many of them are), because every single thing you do against them is something they can frame into the grand victim narrative their ideology is based on. the best way you can fight off terfs (and this is something cis people should be doing) is serial deplatforming, blocklists, and going and ensuring that you block any terfs who show up in your notes. if you need to attack the ideology, attack their beliefs without giving them notes, and do this actually in a comprehensive manner that isn’t just “lol terfs are dumb” and please specially refrain from reblogging their giant anti-trans posts with just some kind of one liner own against them: you’re just giving them exposure and helping them spread their beliefs around.
any post you can make that’s like “haha reblog this to piss off a terf!” is worthless in the face of what actually and truly pisses them off the most: discovering that they’re doing absolutely nothing but screaming into the void because thousands of people have blocked them with no engagement. these people have taken the same stance towards getting mass blocked as twitter alt-righters do (ITS A VIOLATION OF MY FREE SPEECH!) and this is for a reason.
One of the reasons I feel so comfortable using Tumblr over other social media is because this site is clearly too incompetent to be evil.
The basic business model of a social network is to harvest commercially valuable personal data and sell it, most famously via targeted ads. Anyone visiting my blog can clearly see that I am a queer furry who’s into video games and art. And yet I am only served ads for funeral homes, Bible story DVDs, and the current president’s reelection campaign (in 2018 for some reason)
Needless to say my click through rate has not been very good
I finally managed to get hold of a copy of my dissertation! You can read it on Google Docs HERE. Please feel free to download and cite the work if it helps you with your own studies. 🙂
You guys, this is 70 pages of analysis of tumblr language and you should probably read it. I know I’m going to.
I’m sold on the strength of the table of contents alone
Tumblr’s at it again, thanks to the new European Privacy Laws. There’s probably nobody who will read this, but it pissed me off so much that I decided to make a post about it. (Ignore the weird language mish-mash, depending on your country the language might differ.)
OK, so many of us get this screen when we try to access our dash:
Realise how the ‘OK’ button is a nice, attention-grabbing blue? If you’re like me, you’re not exactly into reading a 100 pages document and tend to just click it.
My tip? DONT. Instead click on ‘Manage Options’ right next to it:
Now you’ll see this page:
Still pretty harmless, right? That ‘Accept’ button is looking really attractive right now. Instead, click on Verwalten (Probably something like ‘Manage Options’ or something in english) and you’ll get to this page:
Now that’s not too bad, right? I just switched all the buttons to ‘off’, because I’m jealously guarding my personal information and don’t want Tumblr to go off and do who knows what with it. Looks like we’re done! But wait: There’s a SHOW option.
When we click on that one, what we will get is this:
A HUGE list with OVER 300 ENTRIES of companies that can use your data by default if you’d just clicked ‘OK’ on that very first page. Coincidence that this list is hidden that much? Me thinks not. They’re all switched on by default, but I am still a petty bitch that doesn’t want to give out her data, so I switched them all off. All 300+ of them. There is no option to switch them all off at once, and even if you disable all the options above, the companies are still switched on.
(If you wonder how i got that number, I copied the list into excel and looked at the cell number. No way am I actually counting all those entries)
I too, am a petty bitch who unticked every single one.
This petty bitch recommends taking five minutes to turn all of the above off.
This (and the fix) doesn’t apply to the US version, according to the comments. However, silver lining:
Forcing consent in these forms like they’re doing in Europe is an actionable no no:
“GDPR: noyb.eu filed four complaints over “forced consent” against Google, Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook
Corporations forced users to agree to new privacy policies.
A clear violation of the GDPR. Potential penalty: up to € 7 billion in total.
Privacy à la “take it or leave it”? The new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) which came into force today at midnight is supposed to give users a free choice, whether they agree to data usage or not. The opposite feeling spread on the screens of many users: Tons of “consent boxes” popped up online or in applications, often combined with a threat, that the service cannot longer be used if user do not consent. One the first day of GDPR noyb.eu has therefor files four complaints against Google (Android), Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram over “forced consent”. Max Schrems chair of noyb.eu: “Facebook has even blocked accounts of users who have not given consent. In the end users only had the choice to delete the account or hit the “agree”-button – that’s not a free choice, it more reminds of a North Korean election process.”
so like… when people say ‘go outside’ they just mean ‘you need to get off tumblr for a while because your world view is extremely sheltered and warped by internet politics’
saying ‘that’s ableist because some people can’t physically go outside’ is just taking it literally and completely missing the point lol
i'll apple your turnover 