this is more for me to put this into words and help my emotions fall in line

processing some more cr shit

i’m one of those having a real tough time with it, and tbh, the tone of what’s going on, i just can’t deal. i didn’t realize i was going to react to molly’s death so strongly, but i did, and here i am

and tbh i’ve found 99% of the response from cr fandom the most alienating.

matt and the rest of the cast? i love em. i 100% love that they love and trust each other and they’re on a nakama journey together and they’re processing things the way they need to, and they’re saying things the way they need to to process. and it’s working for them and it’s just not working for me.

this is evidently something they want to explore, or are at least willing to explore. their group deals with character death in a way that i personally really don’t like, but it’s their choice, and i’m just going to have to square with that, and if that means i take some episodes off, that’s what it is. the cr folks are going to do their story their way, but everything they’ve said has acknowledged that not everybody watching is going to be on the ride with them. to me, this is fine. i’m really angry and hurt, but this is something i can grieve and deal with. i find they’ve been real compassionate about it.

what i’m finding less easy to deal with is the rest of the fandom, and – i don’t recall ever being so bothered by others in the fandom – but so much of the defense of the cr cast has used arguments like “this is just how the game works” and “get over it” and “people who are that upset probably have never played dnd before” and i love matt and the crew but i am so fucking exhausted and alienated by responses like these. i just don’t care. those defenses do absolutely nothing for me; i am not comforted, or reassured, and i am certainly not led towards acceptance or getting over it. if the goal was to reassure upset people that you are equally upset, mission failed.

i don’t want to hear how this is a game of chance, i don’t want to hear how incorrect it is to be very upset about it. that’s so unhelpful, it doesn’t engage with feelings at all, and i feel real condescended to.

i haven’t even touched on anything specific to molly and his character, but i’m finding it even harder to process. just don’t look at the tags, i guess. shrug emoji