I’m finally watching The Steam of Many Eyes with my man Clint and y’all? He is genuinely so bad at the mechanics of the game he’s been playing for years god bless what the fuck
Clint McElroy’s literal first move in this game: “I cast Insect Plague.” He does not know what level spell it is or if he is allowed to do it or exactly what it does. Ashley Johnson gently assists him read his card.
Mark Hulmes allows this man to just get away with this. Sam Riegel who is wearing a custom made Matt Mercer face shirt has the audacity to say that this spell might be “a bit extreme.” I would personally die for every person involved in this exchange.
Anyone reading this who wants to get into D&D but has never played or only played a little: if you ever worry people might not want to play with you, remember that Clint McElroy is this bad at D&D and WOTC still invited him to play it live on the internet.
Truly and genuinely inspiring, you can have played for years and still not know what a d20 is and all that means is Ashley Johnson will help you while people cheer
Tag: mcelroys
hierarchy of dnd podcast crossovers
Mama: Ok, this is gonna sound pretty strange, I reckon, but there’s something here that you cannot see right now. So don’t go running forward cause I don’t want you to bash your face right into it, alright? And it’s gonna look like I’m just sort of speaking it into existence, but that’s not really-
Aubrey: The Stonehenge thing?
Mama: [pause] You… you can already see it?
Aubrey: It’s three rocks, can you see it?
Griffin: She puts her hands to her temples, which is sort of the go-to move for any Adventure Zone NPC.
ok but in DnD as far as I can tell almost everyone outlives humans by a ridiculous amount – elves, dwarves, gnomes, and okay I confess my exposure to DnD is just TAZ so I’ve run out of races, but still. doesn’t this mean that to most races, humans seem like terrifyingly precocious children? especially if you haven’t met that many – it’s one thing to know that humans are considered adults by their twenties, it’s another thing to meet one who owns a business and has kids of their own, and then find out they’re less than half the age of your dumb baby brother who still eats rocks.
Angus, a ten-year-old child: “I am employed by the police to solve murders, because of the excellent reputation I have established for myself over many cases. I am traveling alone, unsupervised, searching for a killer on my own, because I am competent enough to do so.”
Taako, a three-hundred-year-old college-age kid: “sounds legit.”
Magnus: “Ok all jokes aside you guys realize this kid is way too young to be alone like this right? I mean yes, he’s more competent than the three of us put together, but he’s also a child, he should have someone looking out for him.”
Merle: “What are you talking about, Maggie? He’s barely a decade younger than you, what’s the issue?”
Taako: “No Merle he’s right, I mean we’re babysitting Magnus but who’s babysitting McDjango over here?”
Magnus: “I am a thirty-three-year-old man!”
Merle: “We know honey, we know.”
Also, dwarves only live about half as long as elves, so Magnus may be a grown adult, but Merle and Taako are probably within a few decades of each other in age and Taako’s probably mortified about it.
Merle, early on: “Hey, it’s my birthday tomorrow!”
Taako, painting his nails: “What are you, seven fifty? Eight hundred?”
Merle, mortally offended: “I’m only two hundred and thirty-five, what the hell?”
Taako, horrified: “I’M TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR, WHAT THE HELL”
Magnus: “And I’m thirty-three, were we going to get dinner or what, Granddads?”
Taako: “BE SILENT, DEMON CHILD”
On the other hand, teenage Orcs are like 10-13 years old, so
Magnus: “No but really he’s only ten where are his parents?”
Killian, who is fifteen years old: “Not really following you on that one, it seems pretty legit to me”
Interesting factoid, Dragonborn and Orcs have almost the same age of maturity
concept of the day: merle and john have been living together & have been married for years and years but they still use the parley parlor to settle their domestic disputes
just suddenly merle finds himself back in the old boardroom and john is like “ah merle. welcome to the parley. this is about the dishes you still have not done, even though it’s your turn to do them”
me: I would die for you
Travis McElroy: I would never let that happen
me: I would die for you
Griffin McElroy: you will
me: I would die for you
Justin McElroy: seems excessive, but okay
This was them taking it easy
“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.” Is such a brilliant line that sounds like it came outta the cigarette addled mouth of some noir detective interrogating a slimy perp, but no, it was actually Justin McElroy admonishing his brother’s driving skills in American Truck Simulator™️ and I think it’s beautiful how we can all just say words
https://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_o12ecrlaJI1qeklb4o1.mp3?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
https://greywatch.tumblr.com/post/176596249953/audio_player_iframe/greywatch/tumblr_o12ecrlaJI1qeklb4?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fa.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_o12ecrlaJI1qeklb4o1.mp3
3 grown men with no knowledge of the Warriors series of books discover a list of names for warrior cats on Yahoo answers, and lose it
I’m catching up on Critical Role and I nearly crached my car at 5:30 am this beautiful Saturday morning as I wearily does to clinical because Ashley Birch said The Adventure Zone and Matt said “give the boys our love” and I made a noise that can only describe as grunting hysterics because I just. I just like it when the things I like acknowledge each other. Matt n the McElroys. 5:30 in the morning and I think Sam made a positive murmuring noise when they were mentioned and I drove 120 mph in excitement and flew straight into the still rising son
i'll apple your turnover 