You wanna know what I’d like to do? I’d like to move to the beach. You know why? Because with the ocean, the scenery is always changin’, and I want the scenery to always be changin’, man. I don’t wanna be lookin’ at the same thing all the time… I wanna see a million, billion shells… I wanna watch rain come sweepin’ in… That’s, that’s the life, right there! Change it up, man! Keep it interesting!

this podcast was a mistake -griffin probably

theroseeatsribs:

“No, this is one of those moments where you learn to take care of your shit.”

“ It’s a very tense situation" “That’s true. It’s almost like I’ve designed it to be like that.”

“Oh, a minus one. Then you die. God, Travis. In trying to discern his fanciness your nose just starts bleeding and you fall over-”

“You and the box both drink POSION. And you survive but the box has died.”

“There’s a stapler in here- does anyone want the fucking stapler?”

“You run up and tear the box open. It explodes. You die.”

“I can’t believe you all went with the red shirts, but fine- You’re all wearing different shades of red.”

“Now, Griffin, I need you to describe both scenes simultaneously.” “I won’t do that. I’m very very tired.”

“So the end of that sentence that you cut off was ‘and so I won’t be putting up with any shit today,’ but the problem is that I already have.”

“okay you give them the medicine of not being on fire anymore”

“i don’t remember giving you a GUN.”

*drops dice* *has a meltdown*

the total helpless exhaustion when justin texts him a descriptor of taako’s t-rex transmutation

the whole bit about the pillow exoskeleton suit

infinite bag of boys