Tag: marvel

an incomplete sorting of superheroes

andhumanslovedstories:

people with genuine and valid superpowers in Infinity War

  • thor: thunder god 
  • wanda: big red magic witch
  • dr strange: wizard
  • t’challa: super panther sprint master
  • nebula: robot powered by rage
  • peter parker: whatever a spider can
  • groot: tree puberty

essentially a fit dude with a gun

  • rhodey: tank with gun
  • tony: fancier tank with gun
  • bruce: borrowed tank with gun
  • sam: bird with gun
  • peter quill: kid on roller skates with gun
  • bucky: old guy with gun
  • rocket: raccoon with gun

essentially a fit dude who is too good for your shitty gun

  • okoye: “so primitive”. wields a laser spear and the side-eye. 
  • natasha: won second place at nationals for baton twirling. killed the first place winner with her batons. 
  • mantis who technically has superpowers but they are balanced out by her terminal case of Gentle Soul: kick names, take ass!! I am just happy to be here!! >:D (the > is antenna. also her scary face) 

fantasystoryteller:

Loki: *brings Thanos’ corpse to the Avengers*

Everyone: Holy shit, how’d you do it?

Loki: I turned myself into an infinity stone because I know Thanos loves infinity stones, so he went to pick it up to admire it

Loki: And then I transformed back into myself and I was like, ‘mblergh, it’s me!’ and stabbed him

Thor: That’s even better than my “get help” plan, brother