A friend of mine who is a teacher–let’s say kids from about 5 to about 8–found this one day. She doesn’t know who made it, there is no identifying information on it. It is a small book–the sort little kids make, you know, paper folded over. The title of this book is
How to Do Things
We all want to know, don’t we? How to do things? Let us open this book and discover how to do things:
My friend has kept this for a year or more, it is one of her favorite things.
Photos by Setsu Uzume, who, when it was shown to her, declared it a Big Mood.
anyway I’m browsing vampire fetish forums like I usually do to cheer myself up and this girl asked if there are any hot vampire dudes out there looking to hook up or if they’re simply too hard to find and someone replied “Not With a body like your you just got to find one. I am not vampire but I am not mortal. I am Tuath Dé. you are cute message me”
and I have not gotten over this and probably never will.
“sorry I’m not a vampire but I AM an ancient Irish deity. Ur cute hmu”
like Im fucking REELING I want this to be real for the sheer ridiculousness of it. never in my life have I wanted more for magic to exist on this Earth than in this moment.
this post is twelve different kinds of fantastic but I’d like to take a moment and crop out my absolute favorite thing about it which is
i will say the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking seen on a tv soap is when my mum was watching holby city (british medical drama) many many years ago and there was this one really arrogant anaesthetist and he was bragging about something or other while holding a charged defibrillator pad in each hand and triumphantly clapped them together and just straight up electrocuted himself and fucking died. it was supposed to be like a serious scene but nothing i’ve ever watched since has surpassed that level of comedy
Cruel choices #137: you must consume one – and only one – of the following pieces of media.
1.Sailor Moon retold in the style of a 19th Century Russian philosophical novel.
2.The Brothers Karamazov retold in the style of a magical girl anime.
“Our very existence proves there is a peak,” Mars spat, the wind-swept snow no deterrent to her clad in naught but the Sailor uniform as she was. “Man need not concern itself with matters of godhood. We are gods given flesh.”
“It is precisely because of what we are that they cannot rest.” Mercury replied. “One cannot and must not embrace egoism. If we fall, who then will they turn to? Who then will care for what mankind has wrought? Only mankind itself.”
Then from two alleys over there came not so much a cry but a sound, a resolute plea to the skies above not for help, but for guarantee of vengeance. The earnest note struck chords within Mars and Mercury, as if it had been an answer to both of their sides; and yet, it was distinctly not.
“Corrupting the minds of the people with false nationalism where there should be nothing but love of all man, exemplifying godhood as nothing more than superiority to others instead of preaching it as empathy and spilling my borscht… For that, I cannot forgive you! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!”
“Scandal in Staraya: Dmitri’s Secret Plan! Grushenka is an Evil Temptress!?“ Next week: Karamazov no Kyodai: Demons, Season 1 Episode 6! Otanoshimini!
i'll apple your turnover 