trollskine:

A flat commission from an email client of a scene from their d&d game! It looks super serious, but the conversation is essentially “do you think that’s a pigeon?” Poor classes that can’t read thieves’ cant lol

@vexahliaderolo @fjordmustang

The gnomes have adopted the McElroys’ dad and this is the real CR/TAZ crossover

when you’re on watch and roll low perception and the DM starts rolling a bunch of dice

crow-caller:

prokopetz:

More stock NPCs for your Dungeons & Dragons game:

A hulking paladin voiced in your best Patrick Warburton impression who uses the names of obscure polearms as expletives

A ranger who aspires to be a fashion designer, and hunts rare beasts to obtain their hides and fur for use in dressmaking

What initially appears to be a dwarven runecaster with a badger familiar, but it turns out it’s actually the badger who’s the runecaster, and the dwarf is her personal assistant

A compulsively stealthy rogue who insists that all their thievery is in support of a sick relative; it’s not entirely clear whether there’s one sick relative or many involved, as the details change every time they tell it

A bard outlawed from their home village after making a pun so terrible that it killed the blacksmith

A swashbuckling fighter who enjoys lavish hospitality on account of their fearsome reputation, but is secretly just very skilled at stage combat and can’t actually fight their way out of a wet paper bag

A star pact warlock with maxed out Bluff impersonating a cleric of a benevolent sun god

A mysterious druid dwelling on the outskirts of town who everyone politely pretends not to notice is actually three dire raccoons standing on each other’s shoulders in a feathered robe

unluckyrose:

three main parts of d&d culture are

1. *drops to 0hp* “I’m dead.” “You’re not dead yet”

2. rolling a bad perception roll and your dm is just like “you don’t have a fucking clue where you are. a room maybe?”

3. when the dm is narrating a scene for another character and your character isn’t even there so when you make a smartass comment about what’s happening the dm shouts “You’re not here”