moghedien:

katekarl:

kyerinell:

moghedien:

all right, now I’m gonna give you my evidence about why Alethi music is awful and by evidence I mean I’m not fact checking any of this and going completely from memory, so I might not get everything 100% right. 

So the reason their music SUCKS comes from their dumb gender rules. Namely the whole deal with the safe hand. Music is referred to as a feminine art, with the exception of singing, which is masculine. So women Alethi are the ones playing any instruments they have. So Alethi women–who have to cover up one of there hands–are the ones making music. What instruments are there that can be played masterfully with one hand? Not a ton. 

Now sure, gloves are TECHNICALLY allowed and you could probably get away with playing some instruments with a glove, women that wear gloves aren’t gonna be the ones that get to waste time making music. They aren’t the light eyes. Navani wearing a glove as often as she does is considered kinda scandalous and the Kholins in general are just willing to throw out half of the rules of propriety if they don’t like them or are bored or whatever. Most Alethi aren’t the Kholins, so most of those light eyes women that get to waste time making music (NOT singing!) are gonna do it one handed or with their left hand covered in a sack. They ain’t gonna be real dexterous with their fingerings. 

All of this kinda helps make the fact that stringed instruments don’t exist in Alethi culture more believable. Which is why in Words of Radiance, Hoid pulled out some dumb ukulele and Kaladin didn’t know what the fuck it was. 

‘What the fuck is that?” Kaladin asked. 

“Its a ukuele or some shit, you uncultured swine.” Hoid responded. 

– Brandon Sanderson, Words of Radiance 

They don’t have stringed instruments because they only people they allow to play them can’t finger the damned things! I personally want to know what kind of instruments the Alethi DO have because its probably like, exactly one kind of flute. 

So Alethi can’t play certain instruments, sure, but couldn’t they get around that? Sure. They might be able to. If they were really motivated to make jams to groove to, they might be able to pump out some killer ones even with their stupid self imposed restrictions. Oh, what’s that? Alethi probably don’t dance very well either because they can’t touch their dance partners much at all because left hands are scandalous? Oh.

Sure they could probably dance without touching much if they were SUPER choreographed, but the average idiot isn’t gonna be able to pull off moves like that without having a partner to help them along. 

So basically, people can’t make music with bags over their hands, Alethi are really bad dancers, and their music library is probably exclusively ballads sung by dudes with flute music in the background. 

Never go to Alethi parties, they probably suck. 

Why do you think Blackthorn Dalinar was always drunk at them?

Consider: exclusively percussion music

If that were the case they wouldn’t have been LOSING THEIR FRICKIN MINDS over the Parshendi’s cool drum solos at the murder party

The Alethi have literally no out here and Vorinism is a crime against nature, a TEDTalk by me, sponsored by Jasnah Kholin probably