The acceptance we all crave. His shame was absorbed from an ignorant society at large, not from his loving grandfather. A moving scene from the underrated “Big Eden”
Interestingly, if your apology language is showing insight then it actively benefits from a lot of things that are discouraged in modern social justice contexts. Like, I appreciate it if someone says to me ‘hey, I was hostile towards you because I was brought up in an awful purity-culture religious environment and I never really learned that people like you were people’.
But I think that’s exactly the kind of behavior that often gets a reaction of “so do you want a cookie for basic human decency?” or “stop making excuses”, mostly from people whose apology-need is accepting responsibility and who read that as refusing responsibility.
It’s not an apology, and what’s appropriate for apologies is a little different, but recently I read a touching, smart and self-reflective post by a woman exploring the horrible sexism she experienced and the way it’d made it hard for her to sympathize with men and caused her to have the habit of starting interactions with men on a confrontational footing, and how she wanted to address that. And she ended by worrying that maybe the post focused too much on her history of experiencing and being harmed by horrible misogyny, and how this might come across as justifying the habit she wanted to change instead of explaining it. And I could totally imagine someone having that complaint, but wow, I really hope they don’t, because it’s way easier to connect with people when you get why they’re making the mistakes they do and why they have the needs they do and where they’re starting from, and we’d have lost something if the start of that piece carefully avoided explaining critical pieces of the picture.
Making excuses is actually easy to fall into, and it’s harmful and unhelpful. But making yourself understood – to yourself, not just to other people – and getting where you come from and what is actually making it hard to do the right thing is so important that I’d rather err on the ‘making excuses’ side than the ‘don’t make this about you’ side.
And if people know their apology languages then maybe they’ll have the vocabulary to communicate “I need to hear that you’re sorry, and it’s not helpful for me to hear about what caused it, because I experience that as a shift of the emotional burden” or alternately “I find it really helpful to know where you were coming from”.
Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? 🙂 Who can swim the fastest? 🙂 Who can do the best somersault? 🙂
Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING??
Summer Triathlon: Don’t run too fast, you have to save your energy for a swim and a bike ride! 🙂
Winter Biathlon: I see you’ve been skiing for five miles now here’s your gun
wild idea here but… instead of pushing this idea that teenagers can’t be asexual bc they’re children and not wanting sex is normal, how about “if you identify as ace as a teenager but later realize you just didn’t want sex bc you were a kid and stop identifying that way, that’s okay” and realizing that doesn’t mean no one can know they’re asexual as a teenager and stop maybe telling asexual teenagers that they’re too young to be ace bc that’s really weird given that teenagers are cetainly capable of being non-asexual also you totally can’t decide something like that for someone else
‘Here is your label, you can never change it’ is one of the most toxic things I’ve ever seen and honestly is the worst parts of pretty much any community there is. It keeps people from being willing to change or even self-reflect, because once they get a label it’s impossible to free themselves from it. And it’s behind all the ridiculous ‘well at one point you said a thing that all these years later in a different context doesn’t sound all that good so you’re a bigot and everything you do is terrible’ nonsense going around this hellsite.
teenagers especially need to be able to say “this is where i’m at now, it could change later, it’s valid either way,” because they’re still evolving really fast
anyone at any time in life can discover something new about themself and no one gets to tell them what they’re feeling
YES, and also??
The argument that “you could find out in the future you’re not ace, so you can’t identify as ace NOW” has an underlying sense that… identifying as ace is BAD. It makes it sound like identifying as ace is something you absolutely should not do until you’re 100% certain, because maybe it isn’t that bad, maybe you’re normal and you just don’t know it yet!
It’s the same mentality, I find, as people who think being gay or lesbian is a horrible fate you wouldn’t chose if you could, something you would change if it was possible. The same mentality that says you can’t be trans unless you’re horribly dysphoric all the time.
They treat the decision of identifying as asexual as some serious life-sentence instead of, you know, a simple way of exploring your identity??
I think this is a Thirteen thing… and I think this is Twelve’s too. Thirteen is nicer to her friends but she still has a tendency to be blunt and rude but this time the Doctor learned to (or kept the lessons learned as Twelve) direct it to self-important antagonists.
Thirteen effortlessly undermines her antagonists, they’re not important enough for her to retain their names nor make an effort to use their learn their names because they’ve proven themselves to be Grade A jackasses. Thirteen’s responding in kind and makes it look so easy undermining them.
wow incredible stunning talented showstopping… 10/10. even more powerful when paired with desert chic bucket hat and goggles 30/10
desert #2:
good i like it. powerful pose. baby gay in search of adventure but he knows you gotta be cute. solid start i like the loose shirt… artistic AND practical. 10/10
yellow jacket:
he’s clearly copying the brown pants + boots look from han but he’s using the yellow jacket to make it his own! revolutionary 10/10
beige brilliance:
this is the gayest possible way to hold a gun i love him…. 10/10
dagobah more like gaygobah:
toying with tasteful twunk looks…. look at those biceps. 10/10
return of the jedi aka
i just.. just look at him. go out and buy a new gucci suit just to face down your estranged dad what kind of gay goals.. icon. 10000/10
best pilot in the galaxy:
can you believe he invented the colour orange? wow. thank you. 10/10
dramatic like my father before me:
the moody gaze off into the distance… 10/10
forest frollicking:
the caption for this was “mark hamill as the wonderful luke skywalker” and i am inclined to agree. ponchos were literally invented to be worn by this man. 10/10
depression robes:
he may be in exile but that doesnt mean he cant look good!! 10/10
bonus: ooooh he fucking did that you know he did!!!
okay i cant find a pic of it but you know what im talking about!!!!! the haircut harking back to his days as the galaxy’s most iconic twink ever to wear a bowlcut… the 600 thread count black suit.. you KNOW before he went to that battlefield he astral-projected into the runway at space fashion week and pirated the latest ralph lauren number in a tasteful matte black. incredible. i love luke. 1000000000/10
“There is partisanship on both sides of the political spectrum, but no left-wing outlets propagate extremism as successfully or widely as conservative media do. A new study of “Network Propaganda” by three Harvard researchers notes that liberals, by and large, get their news from sources such as The Post, the Times, NPR and CNN that, regardless of any political bias, also engage in rigorous fact-checking. Conservatives, by contrast, are being brainwashed by right-wing media that are an “echo chamber” for “rumor and conspiracy theory.” The frightening thing is that the right-wing media will be here long after Trump and the current crop of Republican politicians are gone. These outlets have a First Amendment right to say what they want, but investors and advertisers also have a right to take their dollars elsewhere.”
Organizations like Sleeping Giants are helping to convince advertisers to pull their advertising and financial support from right wing propaganda outlets like the ones Max Boot talks about in this column. It’s a good start, even if it can often feel like trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble.
i'll apple your turnover 