snarp:

My psychiatrist, a relatively-well-known expert in his field: Here’s the thing about doctors: you can’t trust us. You should never trust doctors, because we do not know what we’re doing. Some of us THINK we –

Me: I mean, some of you – I feel like you pay attention to –

Him: No!!! I don’t know what I’m doing, no doctor ever does! It’s part of the job, it’s – just, do your own research, go on PubMed and stuff, tell me if you think I’m wrong, get a second and third and fourth opinion if you think I’m – it’s just, medicine is a bad field! It’s so unscientific and we’re not held to any real kind of STANDARD and we’re just so SMUG – just, don’t trust us! NEVER TRUST DOCTORS.

Me: Okay, so, I swear you this solemn oath: I will look up every medical thing I am ever subjected to on PubMed.

Him, now feeling uncertain of himself again: …except, of course, don’t spend TOO much time on there, don’t tired yourself out – because, you know, we don’t need you getting all hypochondriac and anxious about – everything. And look at the – methodology and everything, obviously, you have to keep in mind that most research is also bad, it’s just – doctors! WE don’t have ANY standards, so –

Me: Yeah, I know, I know, you gotta strike a reasonable uh – paranoia balance?, or, uh –

Him: Yes, right. It’s important to have a REASONABLE LEVEL of paranoia.