jumpboy-rembrandt:

EMT: Do you know what happened to [Ned]??

Duck: Ohh, boy, um. Do you want the truth, or, a more convincing lie? Um… nah, so, okay. Right, so the Pizza Hut sign, started to fall, ‘cause of the weather? And he ran up there on… a fire escape. And tried to… push it? With a bat? Dammit.

Duck: Naw, he just pushed it, and it fell, but then he fell, ‘cause he got shocked. I bet!

Duck: Mmm. I didn’t see. I was i— ah shit! Alright. Hey fo— hey guys, rewind. I— Hey guys, rewind a second. 

Duck: Ahh, fuck! I was inside, I didn’t see. Anything. I don’t know, this man. I do know this man. His name— fuck! 

Duck: Alright. I Ne— hi— here— Mmmm. Alright, so.

Duck: This man, his name is Ned, and he’s, uhh, friend of mine. And I don’t know what the hell happened to him, but you know this guy. He’s always gettin’ inna s’um. I don’t know, I was in the building. I almost got killed by a Pizza Hut sign, I might be in shock.

[This is where we find out that Duck got his nickname, because one time he tried to explain something to someone, and it just kept autocorrecting ‘fuck’ over and over again.]