jumpingjacktrash:

kyraneko:

kitswulf:

beggars-opera:

Relatable 

#I love the concept of having multiple parlors #where the guests are forced to look at the furnishings to decide if they are in the Good Parlor #the You’re Not Special Parlor #or the Fuck Off Parlor #because I won’t tell them
       

“If you have to ask whether you’re in the Good Parlor…you aren’t.”

Somebody describe these parlors to me.

Because maybe it’s obvious and the Good Parlor is the one with the really comfy chairs with gilded armrests and the cool knicknacks to look at, and the You’re Not Special Parlor has chairs that look awesome but are uncomfortable as shit to actually sit in and the lampshades are slightly askew so when you’re sitting in your uncomfortable chair you also have the light shining in your eyes and the statuettes on the tea table are eyeing you dubiously, and the Fuck Off Parlor has chairs that stab you with springs on purpose and shadows keenly engineered to hide a table at prime shin-barking height and that picture is sure as shit following you with its eyes and there’s an hourglass that somehow feels like it will set an ancient and dire curse on you if you’re not gone before it runs out.

Or maybe they’re just three different exquisitely-appointed parlors and there’s nothing distinctly Good or Fuck Off about them but one day you’re led to a different parlor than the one you’ve become used to and you are on absolute tenterhooks trying to figure out if you’ve been promoted or added to the Shit List.

my irl house has only one parlor but it becomes the good parlor if barb stops playing wii long enough to make eye contact