THE 6 TYPES OF WHUMPERS YOU’LL MEET

taylor-tut:

killian-whump:

the-whumpy-fangirl:

1. The Specifier

The Specifier only focuses on a couple whumpy tropes. They often won’t even care who it’s for, as long as it has those tropes. The tropes can vary in specificity. So your friendly neighborhood Specifier might like electrocution in general, or maybe they just like elbow bruises caused by a flail wielded by a 2nd century Tibetan monk. Although I would like to know where they found that one.

Sample Dialogue:

Me: Hey, I found you a whump fic, for the fandom Ag-

Specifier: Does it have drowning?

M: You don’t want to hear who it’s for?

S: Does it have drowning?

M: Yeah. I think, look, it’s for this chara-

S: I’ll take it!

2. The Single Target

The Single Target is very particular in their choice of whumpee instead of method. Basically, consider them the same as the Specifier, except flipped. Perhaps they only whump characters played by Colin O’Donoghue (this is a callout @killian-whump), or maybe they only whump versions of Ms Frizzle.

Sample Dialogue:

Me:  Hey, I found you a whump fic, with cool tropes like electrocu-

Single Target: Does it have Killian Jones?

M: You don’t want to hear what it’s for?

ST: Does it have Killian!?

M: Yeah. I think, look, it has beati-

ST: I’ll take it!

(Yes, I got lazy with this dialogue and just copied and pasted. Sue me.)

3. The Ficxer

We all have that one fandom. That one bad egg that makes a character just begging to be whumped…. and never is. For those times, the Ficxer is our best friend. They’re the ones that make the stories that fix the canon’s negligence toward whumpers. They flesh out those annoying storylines where the perfect whumpee is going through so much that isn’t shown or expanded upon. Ficxers, I love you. Now write for Parks and Rec already!

Sample Dialogue:

Me:  Wow, Stargate Atlantis would have really tortured Shep there! Too bad they didn’t…. Wait, there’s fanfic. Let’s see if there’s anything there… Yay! Thanks, *squints* kittylover443!

Ficxer: *somewhere* I have pleased another person. Behold my excellence, mortal.

4. The Giffer

Very similar to the Ficxer in that these whumpers suck up our time in the best way. These invaluable members of our community give us endless replays of our fleeting moments of joy. 3 gigs of data on my computer are whumpy gifs. I live in fear someone will find them. And since I can’t make them myself, I’m indebted to all Giffers.

Sample Dialogue:

Yeah, I don’t know what to put. Just thanks?

5. The Everything-er

The full gamut. The whole 9 yards. If it’s got whump, the Everything-er will take it. This type of whumper, when asked their favorite whumpees, starts reciting a list that they’ll still be saying in November. Definitely the easiest to write for at whump exchanges, because chances are they whump everything you whump.  

Sample Dialogue:

Me:  Hey, I found this cool fic you might like.

Everything-er: Is it whump?

M: I don’t read anything else, so yeah?

E: Great! I’ll be back in *sees the fic is 15k words long* 3 hours.

6. The Mean One

Just kidding. These don’t exist.

I feel so attacked right now… and I kinda love it XD

The best part is, I was reading The Specifier and I was like, “This is kinda me… but with Colin, instead of specific tropes…” and then I got to the next one and laughed forever 😀

tag yourself I’m #3