derinthemadscientist:

kirbily:

derinthemadscientist:

theglyphscrawls:

chaoticaddict:

proteusspade:

derinthemadscientist:

Petition to rename Animorphs books more accurately, so they’re called things like “first named character gets eaten alive”, “first suicide attempt”, and “oh my god even more genocide are you kidding me”

#1: “First named character gets eaten alive”
#2: “First incidence of PTSD, also JESUS CHRIST, ANTS”
#3: “First suicide attempt”
#4: “THEY BIT HIM IN HALF”
#5: “WELL THIS ONE’S UPSETTING”
#6: “Genocide and slavery, basically”
#7: “The future can involve eating your friends”
#8: “Well, this is the one with cinnamon buns…”
#9: “Oh thank god it’s getting less traumatic”
#10: “THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE”
#11: “someone dies and it’s confusing”
#12: “let’s sell out the human race, nbd”
#13: “SHIT GOIN DOWN HODAM”
#14: “Poop Jokes”
#15: “*unintelligible screaming about sharks*”
#16: “SO MUCH CANNIBALISM, ALSO CASUAL MURDER.”
#17: “This is the oatmeal one. Alternatively, this is the chemical warfare one.”
#18: “Brain lobes get bitten off in this one.”
#19: “Moral Shades Of Gray: The Book. Also a throat gets ripped out, and parts of it stuck in someone’s teeth.”
#20: “OH NO”
#21: “OH NOOOOOO”
#22: “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NOOOOOOOO”
#23: “HE JUST WANTED A FUCKING FAMILY”
#24: “… let’s pretend this one never happened”
#25: “RIPPED ITS SKIN RIGHT OFF. Also, more genocide.”
#26: “GENOCIDE AHOY”
#27: “Increase Your Password Security”
#28: “Graphic Depictions of a Slaughterhouse”
#29: “Graphic Depictions of Alien Brain Surgery”
#30: “*sobbing intensifies*

ok that’s all for now

#THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION #NOT EVEN REMOTELY

I CAN STILL CLEARLY PICTURE THE ALIEN BRAIN SURGERY.

That alien brain surgery was the best

I THOUGHT THIS WAS A CHILDREN’S BOOK SERIES?!

It is, that’s why the untrained soldiers with neither physical nor emotional support who are forced to murder innocent slaves for their own survival and constantly face death are children.